What The Hell is Self-Care?

Everybody is talking about self-care! I don’t know if it is a trend or the times have caused us to look at mental health more closely. Self- care is doing anything intentionally that makes you feel good: physically, mentally or emotionally as well as protecting your peace. Even corporations are focusing on wellness, employees can get incentives to work out, and eat healthy. My job even changed the dress code to whatever makes you feel good. Yes the dress code is: clean, no holes and clothes that make you feel good.  Many people were elated that we could wear jeans, even with that change some people still come to work in their best corporate attire. This illustrates what self-care for me, may not be the same for you.  People instantly think of massages and being catered to as self-care. Those things are huge in helping to keep you restored but they are not limited to physical acts. Here are some of go to my self care activities. I hope they inspire you to identify what yours look like or create some!

Yoga– It’s so cliché I know but, it calms my anxiety. Sometimes I live too much in my head and I am not even enjoying the moment. When I am doing yoga I have to concentrate on said movement and breathing. I can’t think about shit that’s worrying me about tomorrow or what I could have done better yesterday. It helps me get my mind re-centered and free of clutter.

Homemade Facial– Another cliché lol. The act of washing my face after a long a day is like washing the day and all its problems with it. So a facial is like a deep cleansing of shit that’s just not going right. After I wash makeup off my face I look in the mirror and say “There you are!”

Lounging & watching tv- If you know me in real life you know if you ask me what I am going to do or what I am looking forward to do I will tell you watch my shows. I let my DVR record and when the weekend comes or Friday night I shower, get in fresh jammies and binge watch, especially in the winter. I am given the treat of not being able to think about my own drama.

Changing my mind– Ever get a text from someone with an invite to do something with a date and time and you say yes? Then the day comes and your enthusiasm has changed! When that happens I change my mind, translation? I’m not going. If I leave my house thinking I can’t wait to get back home, that’s an indication to stay home. I am not a flake but I’ve learned to honor my vibes. And you’ve really conquered it when you don’t feel bad about it. I know my real people are still going to love me.

Saying No– All I can advise is make “No” a complete sentence! Period!

Social Media Breaks or Limits- How many of us has scrolled thru ig or Facebook for too long and think there was no substance to anything I’ve seen, yet do it again? I used to not allow myself to go on social media until at least 9am during the week. (Which I need to get back to). Or there are times when I put myself on a time limit for social media wether it’s 10 minutes or 20 minutes once I’ve reached that limit it’s time to get off. I’ve definitely compared my progress to others and most importantly it has wasted too much of my time being non productive. Also social media is filled with so much fantasy that it can clutter my brain.

Taking a break from your negative friends- Sometimes being there for others can cause you not to be there for yourself . You ever have a friend every time y’all get together it’s download on everything bad? Listen I’m an ear and a shoulder but sometimes I have to ignore your calls or hanging out with you because you can be so draining! I love you I’m not judging you nor am I saying how you feel is not valid I’m just saying I can’t have you interrupting my peace today or this week perhaps. I still love you though!

Standing up for yourself- This sounds like a given but even as adults there are people in our lives that we may find difficult to set boundaries with. Like our parents, siblings, or closet friends. It was the most freeing experience to tell my mother “I don’t have to take this I’m going home!” Even as an adult I never wanted to upset my mother in return some days I’d be upsetting me! Because my mother wanted to spend time around me she eventually learned all though she is ‘Queen A Sheeba’ she too had to respect some boundaries. Maybe it’s your sister or friend who is way too comfortable adding their 2 cents about your man. Maybe it’s your aunt who wants to greet you by pointing out the weight you’ve gained. This is can be a life changing self care act. You don’t deserve to feel uncomfortable in your own life. Standing up for yourself looks different then it did in second grade at the playground but it’s still a must as an adult.

Utilizing your PTO- It’s odd how I have earned Paid Time Off (I’ve worked for a company for about 12 years) but I feel like I shouldn’t miss time from work. In corporate America being available can be perceived as a good tactic to get further in your career. I have to remind myself I’ve earned this time. Even if I’m not going on vacation if I feel run down, frustrated, or is feeling a funky energy I will utilize my PTO and do third activity on my list with good take out. And if I have money and a group of friends vacation is even better!

Spending time with someone that’s going to love on you- There are some people that make you feel good or incredibly loved. They may not even know you’re in need but that’s just who they are. It may be your Mama whose always so happy to see you. Maybe it’s your group of friends that lift you up with laughter til your cheeks hurt. Perhaps it’s your grandmother who sees you as the sweetest thing since apple pie. Maybe it’s your man that knows exactly when you need to be babied and knows exactly how you need to be held after a terrible no good very bad day. There is someone or a group of individuals that makes you feel easy to love and that feeling is some serious self-care.

Thanks for stopping by!

Wishing you no pain unless its Champagne!

-The QuEEN