The Worst Part Of Being Single

I get to the gym. I am super amped because not only did I not want to go but I definitely didn’t want to go after work.  But the idea of a summer body is plastered in my head, so I go to the gym work out hard and kill it. I am so pleased with myself I feel like I can conquer anything LOL I walk out to start my car and head to the nearby grocery store to make a salad, but my car will not turn on. I breathe and re attempt to start my car to no avail. I look under the hood wiggle the battery, nothing. I then proceed to McDonalds to get a coke maybe the battery is just corroded. Nothing. I reluctantly ask a stranger does he have jumper cables as well as the gym –surprise surprise no one has any. I call my one of my RODs (“Ride Or Dies) and ask her to come to jump my car, she says she is on her way but doesn’t know how to hook up the cables properly. This leads me to call my other sister (another ROD) and my brother in law so he can properly attach the cables. They arrive but we couldn’t get to my car or even determine the owners of the cars next to mine.  We have no choice but to just sit and wait. Finally, someone leaves the gym and we hook up the cars and my car still doesn’t start! I call AAA for a tow and to sign up for the service because I wasn’t a member. So here we are having family time in the parking lot. Both my sisters, brother in law, and now my auntie that just happened to be working out is here and they all want to stay. The only thing I could think of is if I had a spouse, a babe, a companion, a boo a something my entire family wouldn’t be held hostage because my car wouldn’t start. I know that I am not an inconvenience, but I can’t help but feel that way when I am 35 and the only people I have to call is my sisters. In that moment I began to kind of fall apart and cry in the parking lot. My sister had to get someone to come stay with my baby niece, so she could be there for me, my auntie husband was face timing her wondering where she is, and my sister and brother in law were on their way to dinner. Moments and scenarios like this happen in life, but when you’re single simple mishaps can really make you feel alone. AAA said it will be approximately an hour which turns into 2 hours when the tow truck arrives low and behold it wasn’t a tow truck! It was the wrong type of truck so an additional hour of wait time was added. I can’t make this up, this is just a normal Thursday on the ‘Ericka Show’.  I left the gym at 6:30PM got home at 10:30PM I was spent I couldn’t wait for my shower and bed.

Many people assume that the worst part of being single is the absence of regular sex. Don’t get it twisted that is also difficult because I am breathing passionate vibrant woman. The truth is as women we can always have sex, it may not be with an individual we crave yet if a woman really wants to have sex there is someone available to her, always.  We live in times where relationship status options are no longer just single or taken its also now incudes “it’s complicated”. What does that even mean? It means you’re having sex, you have feelings, you honestly don’t want that person with anyone else, but you’re NOT committed. Theoretically I get it but logically especially when I say it out loud, it doesn’t make any sense.  At this point in my life I don’t want to willing sign up for anything unhealthy and toxic. I was never a person that required a man, I wasn’t against it, but it wasn’t imperative or my life goal. When I lost my grandmother that was the first time I thought to myself maybe this would be better if I had a companion. Shortly after that I lost my mother and that’s when I thought I can’t make it thru another traumatic event alone. It was extremely difficult to be honest with myself and admit I don’t want to be alone. No one wants to be alone but when you take care of yourself I feel like it’s expected to be the spokeswoman for the song I-N-D-E-P-E-N-DT happily. Well Mama is tired! Good sex is temporary, even mind-blowing sex is temporary I need someone to wait with me for AAA and console me after a long day.


Being single I am my own up-lifter.  After a bad day, moment, or feelings there is no one there telling me it will be okay, I was right, or how proud of me they are. I look at myself in the mirror and remind myself to get into ‘Formation!’  I have limited time to feel sorry for myself on bad days. The day my car wouldn’t start was beginning of the weekend of my mother’s birthday. When I woke up the next day, I didn’t want to be bothered.  Coincidently my car tow was strike 3 for the week! But when I got up I told my mind we are going to run this body today not my emotions. I had people depending on me to be me, like the preacher recently reminded me in a sermon “I am a blessing”. I couldn’t let them down nor myself because laying in the bed alone feeling bad because I am alone wasn’t going to serve me in any way.  My car is just one instance I could have written this on a day I felt beat down at work, or a moment a song came on and I lost it missing my Mama. Managing life alone is the absolute worst part of being single.


There are no pity parties though! One thing I have really learned is to have a grateful heart. I used to listen to Hot 97 morning show where they had a segment called “Ride or Die”. Someone will call in the radio to prank someone they are close to with a ridiculous situation and they have a minute to agree to come save them. Sometimes the people would say they are coming sometimes they wouldn’t but the people that would say yes to an outrageous situation were essentially a “Ride or Die”. When I would hear these, I would think it’s no point in ever calling because I know for a fact my sister(s) is coming.  It doesn’t matter if it’s an inconvenient moment, if we are in a disagreement, if we aren’t talking regardless I know they are coming. From the time I was born my mother let them know take care of her baby and they can’t escape that way of thinking even if they wanted to. When I woke up the next day I chose not to focus on the man I didn’t have but be grateful that I have “Ride or Dies” I could have been waiting for 4 hours alone in the gym. All my single ladies on rough days like these, I encourage you to utilize and appreciate your “Ride or Dies” because we all have them.

Thanks for stopping by!
Wishing you no pain unless its Champagne!
-The QuEEn

6 thoughts on “The Worst Part Of Being Single

  1. Great write up!! Reading it , I went thru all the emotions with you. I totally get it and I know you will find that mate that will wait in the parking lot for hours with you❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I respect your transparency. Being single when your a dope ass person is not easy but it far out weighs the stress of settling just to say that you have someone. Like all things, when the time is right they will fall into place. Your time with your King will arrive …until then, continue being the dope soul that you are!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My worst fear is I’ll die alone and my cats eat me LMFAO I gotta put it in my list for 2020 to put myself out there to date ..this was a great post! Thanks 🐈🍴👩🏽


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