Saying No To The Birthday Blues

I have always enjoyed my birthday like most females that turn their born day into a long weekend extravaganza.  Out of nowhere every year as my birthday nears, starting right after Christmas I get into a funk. I am overly emotional, vulnerable and easily offended. I woke up on my 30th birthday on a girl’s weekend getaway in Atlantic City crying. All I could hear was Kanye and Maroon 5 playing – “And I heard ’em say, nothin’s ever promised tomorrow today.” My big sister Tiffany came into the bathroom and said, “Cut the shh!” we had birthday shots and that was that lol. But every year since then like clockwork birthday blues ensue, I couldn’t understand why. I was watching an episode of The Kardashians’ on this particular episode Kourtney was turning 40. She was overly emotional and vulnerable crying the entire episode about the smallest things. Her family was giving her a hard time until they realized what was going on- “The Birthday Blues.”  In a sobbing moment Kourtney said she feels like she needs to have it all figured out by her birthday- and by all she meant life. Like an epiphany I understood this happens to me. I found 2 books from fifth grade in my mama’s house and my fifth-grade self said I was going to have 2 kids, a husband, a suv, college degree from a school down south amongst other goals. Every year my birthday comes, I realize I didn’t live up to 5th grade Ericka’s expectations and I am running out of time. I feel like I let that little girl down. And I began to obsess how did I go from this fearless girl to this over thinking woman? After about 2 weeks of literally crying daily and carrying funky energy I made a commitment to fight the blues and enjoy my birthday. 

Vibrating 
When your vibration is low, your energy literally feels heavy because you are not in alignment with your soul and you are functioning from your lower self or ego. When you are vibrating at a higher level, you feel lighter, happier, and more at ease.  Color, light, sound, and activities all can affect your vibrations. There are certain sounds, color, even people that elevate my energies and vibrations. Solange’s last album “When I Get Home,” is my current go to for raising my vibrations. The album sounds like neo soul with chimes and synthesizers. Those specific sounds make me feel good and light and slowly raises my mood, hopes and expectations. Companied with Solo is Ari Lennox’s latest album, also neosoul.  Their energy assist in aligning my chakras. Collectively they have me whipping my hair and doing leaps like I am on stage with the Alvin Ailey dance company. I listened to them all day for 2 weeks during work, cooking, shower, in the car and as I cleaned up. I began to get back to performing my 5-minute meditation with Rodney Yee, going to the gym faithfully, yoga on the weekends. It worked! Leading into my birthday weekend I was excited and ready to have a good time.  

Make Plans 
Thursday: You know your local hole in the wall spot in the hood? That’s where I landed, my “Classy So Sassy Crew” had pumped me up all day with gifs and emojis. I was ready to jam, I was pressed to finish the work day! We drank, laughed, Kiki-ed, made videos, and took over for the 99 and 2000s. LOL Some of my friends I hadn’t seen for months.! They shined a light on me and I got low like my name was Ericka Thee Stallion!  After the second birthday song my knees and I wanted to kill the DJ! I couldn’t let them down though, so I continued to light the floor on fire! It was the perfect night good times with good people is like free therapy. 

Friday: I always wanted to treat myself to a spa day with all the works, I decided this was the year what was I waiting for? I didn’t tell anyone because it was expensive but when my sisters found out I was going to the spa, they thank God decided to come. Best day ever, felt like I was 10 again we were just missing one sister (she now lives in GA). We got hot stone massages, facials, did a yoga class- which my sister fell asleep in and snored LOL, did the sauna room, jacuzzi, lunched. We made memories and had some good quality time. All the things I took for granted as a child I really revel in now, like simply hanging out with my sisters for no reason at all. When we left the greeter said, “Come back when you can,” he must have seen our bill! 

Saturday/ Sunday: Saturday morning my cousin, sister, 2 nieces and framily (my friend that is my family) headed to Boston.  We started at the Museum of Fine Arts to view the exhibit “Black Histories, Black Futures.” It meant so much to me they were willing to experience what I love with no complaints. I am no art buff, but I love the way art, specifically black art makes me feel and tells versions of our stories.  My 21-year-old nieces paid $25 not to get in a club but a museum and that was the sweetest thing to me. That evening it was a “Getting Bodied Schedule:” Put our dresses on, Made a call-for the drinks to pop when they play my song, Got my best friends like we do it all the time. We booked it to Darry’s a black owned restaurant that served soul food with a live band singing—– neo soul! Great food, great drinks that started the inevitable “I love you guys so much!” The restaurant turned into lounge I felt a little tired and kind of wanted to head back to the room with my nieces but Jobe (my framily) looked at me and said, “You want to go back?” That was all I needed to keep me going and we did. More drinking, dancing and getting low my poor little knees! LOL We did a photo shoot in the lobby, made videos doing the “Naomi Campbell Walk” in the hallway! The following day we did brunch which was more partying – just day time partying! I felt incredibly loved by favorites. My bestie that couldn’t come bought me big bottle of Titos to take with me, and my woe that couldn’t make it brought me to dinner and spoiled me like she was my man.  Love is the best feeling. 

I woke up home alone on my birthday which I was terrified of, due to the fear of feeling alone. But it was perfect it was intimate it was spiritual. I started my morning listening to Sunday Service Choir album, sipped champagne and had a conversation with GOD If you have ever experienced birthday blues raise your vibrations and create a plan! Every trip around the sun is the ultimate blessing!! As always thanks for stopping by! 

Wishing you no pain unless its champagne! 

The Queen!